Thursday, February 6, 2014

Being a mother is hard.

Okay, so I have been craving writing some blog posts lately. As much as I would like to write them all today, that would take too long, and they wouldn't be very good.
I've decided to write a "quick" opinion post. If you don't agree, please remember this is my opinion, I am not looking for others to feel the same, I am just speaking my mind.

We are amazing.
I've come across a few things lately that are very saddening to me. Fellow mothers, degrading other mothers, for the choices they have made. I have decided that we live in a 2-choice society. As mothers, there are several areas where we can do one thing, or another. I am only listing 2 very largely argued topics. I wish to spread the word that we don't need to be degraded, we need to be educated, and supported! I feel like so many women become so radical, so biased, and judgemental. Why is that your choice is the better one? How do you even know?

First Example:  You can breast feed, or formula feed.
Everyone has their own experience, and their own opinions, but of all people, I feel as though I should be more judgmental than I am, because I had an extremely difficult time breastfeeding. It was not until 9 months that I discovered, with the help of others, why breast-feeding was so difficult in the beginning. My child had a lip tie, and a minor tongue tie. When your infants mouth is tied up, it tears apart your nipples as they use their gums to do their best to get the nutrients they need. I should have given up, but I didn't. It got easier after 6 weeks or so, and my depression began lessening. I breast-fed exclusively for 10 months, and began formula feeding exclusively at 11 1/2 months, and then he weaned himself from both a week later. So, based off of my experience, my attitude should be, "Well if I can do it after that, then so can you!"
The fact of the matter is, if your child is well-fed, and growing properly, it really doesn't matter how they are fed.

Why are we taking something so difficult, such as mothering, and making it a he said she said battle? I understand there are some things that are not the correct way to do things, but how often do we publicly shame other women for abusing, or neglecting their children? Why do we poke and jab at the stupid little things that don't even affect us personally? Enough is enough.

Second Example: Working Mom vs. Stay at Home Mom
For some people, being a working mom is awful! (i.e. Me)
I wasn't supposed to have to work, but our financial situation changed. I stayed at home for 9 months, and I loved every minute of it! Starting work was one of the hardest things I ever did. And for those of you who don't know how women stay at home with their children, we are over here wondering how you work instead of staying home. Just so there isn't a question, some women don't "need" to work because of finances, but they need to work for their sanity! I understand that, as well. Some mothers need time away from their children, just like the rest of us at one time or another. So stop being so judgmental, biased, and radical!

Every situation is hard,
being a mother is hard,
raising children who will eventually contribute to our society is VERY intimidating. It is difficult for everyone, so please stop acting like your way is better, because although it may be "better" for you, it may not be better for your next door neighbor, your sister, your cousin, etc. Give each other a little credit!

All in all, what do we do as mothers? Whether we breast feed, or formula feed, stay at home, or go to work. We teach our children to roll over, to sit up, to eat solid foods, to drink from a bottle, to eat with their hands, to crawl, to get up when they fall down, to walk, to drink from a training cup, to give up their binkies, to talk, to brush their teeth, to eat by themselves, the list goes on and on! We do A LOT for our children, whether we get a lot of help from child care, or a husband/boyfriend, a parent, or whomever, we still instill these great things in our children. Please stop being so biased, judgmental, and radical. To each their own, amen.